Thought Daughter ’67
The current music landscape is a landfill of sluggish writing, reused beats, and questionable role models. Here are the top offenders assaulting our ears on the radio today.
Sombr: One new pop sensation, perhaps Slender Man reincarnate, Sombr, has littered current radio with his love for brainrot. Sure, his songs have some solid songwriting, but where has the state of our music gone when one could easily recreate “undressed” using stock GarageBand loops? Moreover, his recent online controversy has revealed his hatred for any concertgoer over the age of 25. He can’t use any actual mature adults to fuel mid-concert entertainment (emphasis on mid)—where Sombr calls out random tweens’ exes on stage—so, I guess we can infer what “12 to 12” is really about. If we simply let the music speak for itself, his latest studio album, I Barely Know Her, is riddled with vague clichés and Target background pop. While he has some natural vocal talent, he overuses loud, distorted vocal effects, and seems to be plain yelling on most choruses. At best, Sombr is a performative rock-pop enthusiast who needs to take some time before trying to replicate ROLE MODEL’s effortless satire—especially for his very young audience.
album cover, I Barely Know Her.
Photo courtesy of rollingstone.com
Taylor Swift: Behind the “Thought Daughter” mask is a grieving ex-Swiftie who wonders how the same woman who penned Folklore—a thoughtful, metaphorical body of work—could boldly release The Life of a Showgirl without shame. I’ve somehow survived multiple streams of this album, including the acoustic versions, and I’m left a victim of her crude, lazy songwriting. Without noting the obvious, I question how Taylor could forget her rural Pennsylvanian roots and write something as wildly out of touch as “Wi$h Li$t,” essentially claiming that everyone wants “Balenci shades” and other superficial pipe-dreams (of course, she just wants Travis Kelce). The new billion-dollar net worth has overshadowed any artistic appreciation she once had, even for her fans. Is it not criminal to seduce your audience into buying behind-the-scenes voice memos, questionable jewelry, and plastic cardigans? Taylor Swift abandoned any hunger she once had for producing quality music and has suffered from so much hubris that not even the iconic Max Martin could save her rushed album.
Tyler, the Creator: Any music listener knows that Tyler, the Creator is not new to the music scene. With recent drops like Don’t Tap the Glass and Chromakopia, however, his artistic edge has certainly eroded, to say the least. 2024’s Chromakopia was like the appetizer (unseasoned, of course) to his musical downfall—like FL Studio in a blender with hints of Sexyy Red—but was at least, with max one AirPod in, listenable. The same can’t be said for Don’t Tap the Glass, or more accurately, Don’t Touch the Grass. Intended to be an unstructured, casual, poppy album, Tyler’s attempt at coming across as revolutionary and fresh has done nothing but cheapen his identity as an artist. The entire album sounds like it was written in one sitting, and might I even suggest, like a single song broken into ten. As a long-time Tyler fan myself, I forced myself through at two sittings and felt like that one Tweet: “One day, Kanye will release an empty CD album and tell his fans to imagine the music. They’ll be like, ‘I hear it.’” That’s not even touching on Tyler’s questionable character–including threats against other artists, blatant racism, and hatred for his own fanbase. But sure, let’s say we’re separating art from the artist. We’re left with absolute nothing-burger co-worker music with a side of ego. Great.
Honorable Mentions
Benson Boone: Mormon backflipper Crumbl Cookie. Great vocals, terrible artistry.
Sabrina Carpenter: Look at our “feminists” in 2025, we’re never making it out of the patriarchy.
Gracie Abrams: Nepo baby whisper-vocalist—heartfelt lyrics, but stay away from mildly challenging covers (sticky situation…)
KPop Demon Hunters: ???
