Daniel Demessie ’24 | Jack Riley ’24
It’s that time of year again when seniors at Episcopal hunt each other down with water in search of glory and a cash prize. Senior Assassin began April 2 and will last until there is only one person remaining (unless time runs out, in which case there will be multiple winners).
Each senior who signs up is randomly assigned a target and is given the task of splashing water on that target to eliminate them from the game. Each player is safe from elimination if they are holding a safety item, which changes each week. Assassinations are prohibited inside of an academic building, during sporting events, and on private property without permission, but everywhere else is fair game.
This year the event is run by Lauren Williams ’24 and Cate Curatolo ’24. Williams explains that while she didn’t want to play herself, she “tried to contribute to something that would make [her] classmates happy.” Lauren further reflects that “[the first week of Senior Assassin] was amazing. Purge Day was really good. A lot of people got out, which was our plan. Everyone was ecstatic.” On Thursday April 4, the Senior Assassin leaders spontaneously called for a “Purge Day” in which no safe items are permitted. As a result, anyone outside of a school building was at risk of being eliminated. On Thursday’s Purge, there were a total of 23 eliminations between the hours of 10:00 AM and 2:45 PM.
The intended purpose of Senior Assassin is to lighten the mood for the outgoing senior class, however many competitors have ulterior motives. While creating memories is the overarching goal, many seniors are very motivated to win. Some are motivated by the large cash reward, but others are motivated by glory. Conor Gaul ’24 explains that “a lot of people say it’s about the money. It’s not about the money. That’s just a benefit. My commitment comes from the pride that I hold for myself. Not only do I think I’m better than you, but I know I’m better than you.” While Gaul’s confidence is admirable, his campaign was cut short in heartbreaking fashion less than an hour after providing this quotation.
Winning a Senior Assassin takes a lot more than just luck— preparation and precision is key to victory. In order to become a deadly assassin, you have to put yourself in the mind of a deadly assassin. Gaul emphasizes, “I studied a great many dictators to develop my strategy. I’ve taken pieces from many of them but the main thing I learned was from Joseph Stalin: trust no one, no one is safe.” There are no friendships when it comes to this cutthroat game. It’s every person for themself, so any trust one puts in another competitor is trust misplaced. Echoing a similar sentiment, Gautam Ketkar ’24 describes that “you should keep one eye on your opps (enemies) and two eyes on your friends, because at least you know your opps’ intentions. Even your closest friends will stab you in your back if you let them.” Ketkar should have heeded his own warning, as he was soon after assassinated by his dear friend Fitsum Ayalew ’24.
While each assassin’s target is supposed to be kept secret, information on who each person has will inevitably spread throughout the grade. Connor Shanahan ’24 assesses, “this game is all about information. The more I know about other people the better equipped I am to find and eliminate my target while ensuring that I’m not eliminated in the process. If telling some people who my target is will help me achieve that goal and advance to the next round, I don’t see any problem with it.” Luke Miller ’24, on the other hand, believes that “sharing your target is the worst possible thing you can do. That information will eventually spread to your target and then it becomes infinitely harder to eliminate them. The best assassins make their moves in silence.” Neither silence nor chatter could save these assassins, however, as both Shanahan and Miller were eliminated by Brendan Schlitt ’24.
In such a high stakes competition, controversy always arises. At 9:00 PM on the first day of the game, Winston Tang ’24 eliminated Ronak Nagar ’24 while he was practicing squash by himself. Tang’s kill was ultimately upheld as, in the eyes of the committee, Nagar was practicing for fun in his free time outside of school. Nagar expresses his disdain for the ruling in the class wide Group chat, stating “this was fully against the rules” and “[Winston] was disturbing my practice.” While Nagar’s complaints were considered, the irregular timing of his practice as well as video evidence recorded by Tang ultimately resulted in his elimination. Whether it be through deceit, careful planning, or just sheer luck, each assassin has an important job to do to ensure their victory in his turbulent game.