Francis Lee ’16, Isabella Sanchez ’16:
After much deliberation, EA has decided to abandon its Episcopalian foundation and re-root its faith in the Greek gods. This decision was made after deciding that the Greek faith was the best way for EA to “Challenge and nurture mind, body and spirit,” while “inspiring boys and girls to lead lives of purpose, faith, and integrity.” Changes will be implemented before the end of this school year.
One of the most essential changes to be seen will be the Stripes. No longer will they be self-control, faith, honesty, courtesy, kindness, generosity, gratitude, courage, respect, and sportsmanship. From now on, as Christopher Row, member of the Upper School Religion Department, explained, EA will revolve around war, violence, petty personal jealousies, cunningness, and sacrifice because “we want the Stripes to more accurately reflect the virtues of the gods.”
Photo Courtesy of Leigh Adelizzi
Row, former faculty leader of Vestry, is now the Head Priest of the Temple of Olympus, formerly the Class of 1994 Chapel. EA plans to install a model of the Oracle of Delphi behind the organ. Row said, “[Oracle] will make sure we get the right answer and it will tell us what to do.” A large lightning bolt will replace the cross hanging from the dome as a tribute to Zeus.
Photo Courtesy of archdaily.com
Other significant adjustments will include eliminating gluten free cookies. No one will complain once delicious baklava, nectar, and Chobani are served in the newly named Dionysus Feasting Hall. But students can rest assured as the new waffle machine will not be touched because even the Greeks loved a good waffle.
In regards to the school curriculum, it will now revolve around the arts and philosophies of Plato and Aristotle. Literature will be focused on traditional Greek myths and the Percy Jackson series. Taking ancient Greek will become mandatory as the Odyssey and Iliad will replace the hymnals during Temple.
Extracurricular activities will also be modified. Traditional Olympic athletics will replace the common sports like football as they are not valiant and worthy enough in the eyes of the gods. More emphasis will be placed on crew, track and wrestling–of course wrestling will not be in the nude, as it once was. After the EA/Haverford/AIS Olympic games, losing teams will be given as sacrifice to the gods.
In order to fully respect Greek mythology doctrine, the EA community will undergo a major fashion transformation. Males will forgo the ties as long as they don’t forget to wear their laurel crowns and sandals. Everyone will be required to dress in white or blue togas.
The campus layout will be shaped after a Greek polis. At the center of the campus green will be the Forum, a place where students can mingle and discuss the Persian wars. The Dixon Athletic Center will be the new Ares’s Gymnasium, meant to prepare against attacks from rival schools and the Greenwood outdoor track will be committed to Hermes. The Science Center will be dedicated to Athena, goddess of wisdom, while the music rooms will be in honor of Apollo, god of music. The Theater and Black Box will be consecrated to the Nine Muses.
As EA transitions and transforms to the polytheistic Greek faith, students must remember to worship the gods, honor their villages, and ζουν µακριά και να ευηµερήσουν (Live Long & Prosper).